Tampa Divorce Attorney – Nothing is More Important than Your Family
Coping When Divorcing with Children
If you are in the Tampa Bay area and you’re divorcing being without children can be a difficult time, especially during the holidays. Couples who have had marriages last even a short amount of time, can often feel sorrowful during the holidays. Change can be difficult, and even the most amicable of divorces can leave you feeling empty during this time of year. There are a variety of helpful local Tampa Bay resources as well as online divorce resources that can help you cope with changes you are experiencing. We encourage you to reach out to someone if you are struggling with your divorce or pending divorce.
If your divorce is, or was a high conflict divorce, the holidays can have a curious effect especially on newly divorced spouses. Often times, it can create a brief period of happiness and forgiveness. Couples who are newly divorced or contemplating divorce can easily get caught up in the hype and warmth of the season, and yet after the New Year find that those same conflicts resurface! However, every now and again, marriages and relationships are actually reconciled!
Relationship and divorce experts generally agree, however, that spouses or couples should hold off on any major decision making when it comes to stopping a divorce in progress until long after the holidays have passed. If after the holidays you and your spouse feel the desire to reconcile and stop your divorce, there’s nothing written that says you cannot follow through with that.
Divorce and Children
One thing is certain, divorce, especially when coupled with child custody issues, is generally a highly emotional time. Even if you are certain about divorcing your spouse, you may have times of struggle. Understanding that this is quite normal and remaining proactive in your efforts to go forward in your single life, will help you cope, not only during the holidays, but in your daily life after the holidays are over.
If you think divorce is complex for you, as an adult, try to imagine what it’s like for children. If you experienced this as a child, you have firsthand knowledge of how it felt. The lower the conflict, the easier the transition will be on your children. However, for children, divorce is generally devastating no matter how amicable it is. Throw the holidays, birthdays or school events into the mix, and the children of divorced parents can become quickly overwhelmed.
For parents of high conflict divorces especially, it is important to understand that it’s not just about you. The children need to be your focus. There are many resources including books and counseling that can teach you how you can remain a family during the holidays if you are time sharing with the children. Many couples, even those who have remarried or have significant others, find ways to come together during the holidays without incidence. If you are divorced parents who can manage this, you are way ahead of the game and are promoting a sense of security for your children.
“Sometimes, spending the holidays as a family is not possible, yet there are alternative ways to make the transition bearable.”
What if We Can’t Be Friends?
There are instances when couples with children who have been divorced are unable to limit conflict. Arguing in front of the children, competing for their attention can cause serious problems for your children. From anger, to anxiety, depression and withdrawal—Children can experience emotional and physical problems When this is the case, it’s generally best to limit your contact with each other, yet doing so without hindering contact with the other parent. Not only is it against Florida Time Share laws, but most final judgments are very clear about parental alienation and what is expected of each parent when divorcing. Children, especially when very young continue to develop bonds with their children and even a slight disruption can cause chronic issues. Unless there are specific reasons why a father or mother should not have regular contact with their child, co-parenting effectively is crucial to a child’s development and attachment to the child.
“Children who aren’t allowed to do so often develop “depression or anxiety” and may spend most of their time “yearning for the absent parent.”
Hopefully, your holidays will be “conflict free” when it comes to your divorce, pending divorce or time sharing and child custody schedules. However, if you need legal representation from an experienced Tampa divorce or child custody attorney who will help you through the legal process of exercising your parental rights, or for any other family law matter, please contact the family law office of Nilo J Sanchez & Associates, Tampa, Florida.
Nilo J Sanchez & Associates
Phone: (813) 879-4600